In Which I Give You Five Reasons to Worry About It.

So here's the thing:

Recently, there's been a terrible fuss about gender. Specifically, gender identity. More specifically - if you can believe it - which genders are allowed to use which bathrooms.

Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick...

Seriously?

Let people piss wherever they want. Get with the times, and make public restrooms unisex. Ally McBeal solved this problem a long damn time ago.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the more important issue of why all those cutesy Buzzfeed videos showing you how to tell if someone's male or female, and subsequently offering "don't worry about it" as the ubiquitous answer are complete and utter bullshit.

It does matter. It matters a lot, actually.

Why?

1) Biological Imperative.

If you happen to be single and looking, and you're one of those weirdos that goes around interacting with others of your ilk in public, it matters. In this situation, everyone you meet has to pass what I'll call (for my own amusement) the "can I fuck that" test. If you're on the prowl for a new mate (in the biological sense, not the U.K. English chummy sense, but we'll get to that), you have to know whether or not it's a viable match, and since most of you are mortal beings, time is a factor. Ergo, you have to worry about it. It matters.

2) Sympathy

Not in the sarcastic, patronizing way. Not pity. Actual sympathy. Being able to understand where someone might be coming from, or what struggles they may have endured often requires some measure of parallelism. I can't fully understand the perspective a straight woman has on a given situation because I'm not one. If she and I are faced with the same problem, we're instinctively going to attack it from different angles because of our different experiences, and part of that is directly related to the fact that we were born with different naughty bits. If, in this situation, we were to attempt working together to tackle said problem, my sympathy for her perspective (and hers for mine) would be limited. Because it matters. This leads right to the next one.

3) Empathy

You should have seen that coming. When sympathy is limited, or not an option, we've got to rely on empathy. In order to know whether or not to sympathize or empathize, we need to know how much parallelism is present. Since gender is one of the most drastic differences or similarities between any two people, it fucking matters.

4) Camaraderie

I don't necessarily need to know what's in your pants to determine whether or not we can be friends, but it is a factor. I'll give you an example:
I see someone wearing a Trump 2016 shirt. After an initial recoil, I look again, because I'm a glutton for punishment, and these people fascinate me. If I see that the wearer is an old fat dude chewing tobacco, and spitting it wherever he chooses, I know he's an entitled asshole who doesn't give a shit about the people around him. I steer clear. If, however, the person wearing this thing is a seemingly well put together grown woman... that boggles the mind. I have to know more. Is she wearing it ironically? What's going on here? Why? Given the differences between the sexes, and the extraordinarily different ways in which they're treated EVERY. SINGLE. DAY... It matters.

5) Situational Awareness

I know this is news (or possibly a major conspiracy) to some of you, but we humans... are animals. Animals look the way they look for one of two reasons: to attract mates, and ward off predators. A monarch butterfly doesn't look the way it looks because it's bored, and felt like dressing up. Its advertising. A chameleon doesn't change colors because green "was so last year." It needs to gain or divert attention. A poison dart frog doesn't look that way because it feels FABULOUS, it was born that way to tell possible mates "I'm sexy as fuck," and potential predators "if you eat me, I'll fucking kill you."

So, while "don't worry about it" is a nice sentiment, it's also complete bullshit (although, personally, I think "worry" isn't the right word here).

We have to think about these things.
Its hardwired into our DNA.
It does matter.

Because we are, after all, only human.