Evolution is Just a Theory.

 If you clicked on that link faster than a priest with an invitation to NAMBLA, you're in the right place. I haven't yet decided which is the lesser of two evils: insincerity in the promotion of good and just purposes, or sincerity in the promotion of false and intellectually offensive ones. This is one of many reasons I suspect I'm at least half Vulcan.

 Insincerity in the promotion of good purposes offends me on an emotional level. I find it repulsive that certain people will copy and paste dull, vapid, generally accepted platitudes on their Facebook walls and Twitter accounts and accompany them with thinly veiled threats or insults to the convictions of the people reading them. It's asinine.

 "If you or someone you know knows of anyone that has dealt with cancer, repost this for an hour to help find a cure."

 No.

 Nearly everyone knows someone who at least knows someone who's dealt with cancer. If they haven't, they're either too young, or too far out of touch with reality to make use of the internet anyway. I will not repost this, because reposting this and leaving it as my status message for an hour will not cure cancer. You know what will? Action on research, that's what. If people would stop throwing money away to study the flow rate of ketchup or rent politicians, and start putting it to use to enable research and development, we could get closer to a cure exponentially faster. I don't see how giving your ego a handjob is going to help with this.

 "99% OF YOU WON'T REPOST THIS, BUT..."

 Stop this banal self-serving bullshit. Sometimes, I wish every computer would come with a little troll inside that lives under the keyboard. Every time someone goes to hit Ctrl+C on one of these ridiculous, insincere statuses of which they've only read the first line, he would pop out, draw a tiny scimitar, and take a finger. Anyone who's literate and has the capability of free independent thought that has seen what cancer, AIDS, racism, sexism, homophobia, bigotry, the far right, the far left, communism, fascism, consumerism, terrorism, and Newt Gingrich can do to someone knows how morally wrong these things are. There's nothing your guilt-laden copied and pasted post is going to do about it, and we all know you're not really going to delete any of your friends that don't copy / paste your status message. That's just an idle threat you've thrown in there in hopes to boost the rate at which your bromide is copied and pasted, and what's worse, YOU didn't even add it, you've copied and pasted it.

 Now, for the other problem: sincerity in the promotion of false and intellectually offensive purposes.

 On the other end of the scale, there are people who truly and wholeheartedly believe that Jesus has a Facebook. I assure you, he does not. Don't misunderstand me, I appreciate and respect that you have a religion, and it's an important part of your life, but there comes a point where you simply MUST yield to scientific fact in lieu of superstition. Your god is NOT going to descend to Earth and rapture you on the basis  that you've posted more trite religious crap than the other members of your cult... er... church. Furthermore, the Earth is FAR older than six millenia. It's been proven. People constantly remind me that "evolution is just a theory," but so are heliocentrism and gravity. Furthermore, if that's the basis of your argument, where, prithee, is your concrete, indisputable evidence to the contrary that you so vehemently present as fact? I'm all for a lively debate. I welcome intellectual discourse, but when your side begins to falter, you simply can not retreat to the bible as the apex of your argument. Ironically, it seems an awful lot of staunch, gun-toting, tan-hating, homophobic rednecks do the same. I've not really included them here because while they definitely need to be watched (lest they hurt themselves, or others defending our great country against the invading gay, black, Jewish horde of evil democrats that will ultimately spread the zombie virus throughout the world and remove us from god's love), they also amuse me, and a majority of them aren't literate enough not to have already been lost by this article yet.

 As for those that are ever vigilant in warning us that Facebook has access to all of your status updates, your friends list, and all your information, a wonderful, albeit old and cliched, phrase comes to mind.

 No shit, Sherlock.