Rise of the Planet of the Dust People (Questions 3 and 4 of 21)

 Awhile ago, I set out to answer these 21 questions that "stupid scientists can't answer." It's been pointed out to me that this video was in jest... a trolling attempt. Nonetheless, I've found, much to my chagrin, that there are people who actually believe this shit. So, I will continue my evil, hedonistic, blasphemous plan to burst the bubbles of the ignorami (my preferred pluralization of the word "ignoramus") world-wide... or at least in my immediate vicinity. Again, these questions are copied and pasted from the video without alteration (in other words, I didn't even correct spelling errors in the questions. I did that on purpose, because I'm an asshole).

 Question 3: "Have you ever seen a mountain form?"

 No one has. Unless you count those childhood science class experiments with growing crystals, and even that is only a tool for showing the science behind the evidence. That's right, I said "science" and "evidence." It's the study of things... the deliberate seeking out of knowledge in order to explain things we don't quite understand, rather than throw our hands in the air and say "Sky wizard musta done it..." that enables us to better grasp the world around us. Mountains formed over millenia, not overnight, and not over a few meager decades. Don't level this question at us non believers unless you're prepared to answer one of equal caliber: Have you ever seen a human formed from dust?

 Question 4: "Why doesn't new life show up in a jar of peanut butter?"

 I've actually had people ask me this question in this exact phrasing. It always amazes me, and I love rebutting this one. After I collect my bottom jaw from the ground, I typically issue my regular answer. Preservatives and an airtight environment. Period. If the Earth were sealed in an airtight container, and injected with chemicals deliberately engineered to inhibit life, life wouldn't show up here either. It's actually a very simple answer. That being said, given enough time, and a slight modification of the conditions (and I mean only slight) life could in fact show up in a jar of peanut butter. Very easily. All you have to do is leave the lid off, and let it sit in the vast expanse of the world around it. If it isn't eaten, life will be along relatively shortly. It might even be as simple as a fly that deposits bacteria when it lands on the rim. That's all it takes. Now picture that the jar of peanut butter, with its modified conditions (the lid being opened) is Earth, and the fly (with its bacteria-laden legs) is an asteroid. When the two meet, viola! you've introduced life to an environment that can sustain it.

 This isn't a very difficult concept to grasp. What is difficult to grasp is that some magical sky ghost scooped up a bunch of dust (that, by the way, he created a couple days before) and molded it into a living, breathing organism, or that he then took a bone (where the fuck he got the bone, I don't know, because I don't recall anything about him changing the physical properties of dust) out of that man and created its counterpart. That, to me, is a little far fetched. There's no way that you can get six BILLION people with such a variety of traits from two completely homogeneous, white dust people in the course of six millenia. Especially when you take into account that your cloud wizard smote the entirety of mankind (according to the fairy tale) and started from scratch because we weren't doing it right. Sorry, kids, but that sounds a lot to me like pissing on a chalk drawing because someone else put a mark on it.