Crowning

I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to bow my head in reverent awe for the new royal Christ-child, but with all due respect, fuck you.

Well, I did say with all due respect.

What you people are too busy being enthralled and googly-eyed to be bothered to remember is that more of my ancestors died in the securing and subsequent protection of this INDEPENDENT FUCKING REPUBLIC than have ever ruled that island.

Don't get me wrong, I like the U.K., and let's face it, a vast majority of British women my age are drop dead gorgeous. I will NOT, however, cow-tow to someone simply because they've been born. It takes fuck all effort to be born.

Maybe you (and I mean all of you) ought to stop and think a moment about the principles upon which this country was founded, and the fact that there hasn't been a British empire legitimately ruled by a monarchy in quite some time before you saturate the news with more than a passing mention of this birth.

I'm glad the princess had a healthy baby, just as much as I'm glad anyone at the end of their gestational period has a healthy baby, but I will not tolerate the fawning, open-mawwed devotion that American news seems to think is justified by the birth of a child simply because it squirmed its way out of the royal vagina.

Even the Brits have evolved past this. You know how important the monarchy is in the day to day life of most British citizens?

It hasn't been much more than a tourism gimmick for years.

They've hefted it from their shoulders, and jettisoned this antiquated ruling method into the pages of history.

For fuck's sake, acknowledge that effort and do likewise.