Te'o'd Off

Manti Te'o was on the news again this morning. Not only does this annoy the ever-loving shit out of me because his situation isn't newsworthy; it's doubly irritating because now that I've used my phone to type his name, Swype has yet another word to swap out when I type "the."

Seriously, though... WHY THE FUCK IS THIS NEWS!? Just a matter of weeks ago, some other football player's girlfriend was all a-twitter... literally... the big news story was how many new followers she had.

Why?

Isn't there, I don't know, actual news out there? Isn't there a country out there continuously and repeatedly threatening our safety, and dangerously close to breaking a 60 year old ceasefire agreement, or is that just my imagination? Isn't there a new secretary of state? Is there anything out there that just might be a tadge more important than who some football player is or isn't fucking?

We're becoming a nation of highschool gossips, and it's ridiculous. We're being lulled into complacence, and a false sense of security by a one-two combination of not talking about it, and placing more importance on whose boob popped out of which designer's dress. Now, don't get me wrong, I love boobs (they're two of my favorite things), but I think it might be time to grow up a little as a nation.

This is one reason other countries make fun of us. We're the special kids of the world.

Look at the boobies!

Look at the pretty things!

No, don't pay attention to that, that's just grown-up stuff.

It's time to wake up, or have our throats cut while we're sleeping.