Anger Management

Why is it so difficult to understand that there is such a thing as "happy angry?" I'll grant you, I'm not made of kittens and sunshine, but at least I'm not miserable. It seems too few have found that middle ground between destructive rage and bubbly fucktard. There is and in-between. That's where you find me.

Do I get mad?

Oh, yes.

Do I get mad a lot?

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FUCKING QUESTIONS!?

I mean... perhaps.

That doesn't mean I find it necessary to stockpile weapons and blow everything to hell. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE explosions, but if you need to blow something to smithereens, it's best to do so for knowledge-seeking, or to inspire childlike glee.

People are just miserable these days, and I honestly believe part of that is because other people are miserable. Have fun with your anger. Turn it into something constructive: a story, a painting, a stand-up bit, a weird fetish, whatever. Just get it out.

I'm not saying don't get mad, I'm just saying don't let it rule you. Run your mouth, make a joke, or find some warped amusement in it.

This may not work for all of you (or any of you), but I invite you to try it: if something's got you pissed off, tell someone about it in an amusing way. Sounds silly, but it works. They laugh, you laugh (because laughter is more contagious than the black plague circa 1450), and in a short enough while, all's well again.

You'll find this does not work with things you actually need to be angry about. In those situations, C4 or Semtex is generally the better response (exes, cheating spouses, huge piles of trash, shitty roommates, noisy neighbors, wild monkeys and the like). However, for things like this fucking boorish cunt in front of me slapping her son around and throwing him into a seat on the train, telling a core group of readers on the internet works for me (and keeps me from incarceration).

The point is: go ahead and get mad. Everyone does; but for fuck's sake, have fun with it.