Monkey

They (being the people responsible for the discovery, whose exact profession I can't remember at the moment) have found a two-million year old (that's 2-fucking-,000,000) hominid that shares a mix of ape traits, including human.

Do you realize what this means?

That's right, it means creationists around the world are hard at work inventing conspiracy theories, and trying their damndest to prove it's a hoax. What the evolution deniers don't seem to understand, however, is that Australopithicus Sediba (that's what they're calling it; please forgive the possible spelling error) was unearthed a few years ago. That means that once again, scientists have taken deliberate, and fastidious care in analyzing and researching the remains, before making this momentous announcement.

A momentous discovery, that to my knowledge, had not been covered on television news.

Seriously?

I mean, I expect Faux Noise to bury the story under editorials about how the gays are going to turn all our marriages upside down, and bedazzle our guns before giving them away to murderous, abortion-having, scary vagina people, but not one single broadcast anywhere about fucking conclusive, tangible proof of evolution!?

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?

I could understand taking a couple days to fact-check, vet sources, and verify information (remember when news used to do that), but for something so important to increasing our knowledge to not be featured at all is unfathomable to me.

Maybe they're afraid.

They're afraid to say, "Here's one thing that debunks the young Earth theory, while providing evidence of evolution."

Instead, they say, "Hey, sheep! Look what Bieber said!"

Who's the monkey in charge of flinging this shit?