Celebricentric

What's it going to take to get some actual news from around the world in this country (or at the very least, in my town)?

Is it a wonder that Americans are so egocentric and xenophobic, when a vast majority of us simply don't know what's going on in the world? How many do you suppose are even unaware that there is an entire globe out there, and it isn't all red, white, and blue?

When that whole Kony 2012 thing was going around last year, there was a companion meme. I assume it was meant to point out the inherent hypocrisy of getting the word out about Kony while not being able to spot his country on a map. I was one of about three people who could, and to be perfectly honest, I was only able to do it by process of elimination (recognizing surrounding nations, and knowing they weren't it). The point, though, is that I was able to at least use my mediocre deduction skills and do it, instead of looking at the map the way a dog looks at a crying baby, and thinking "what parta merica's that?"

We've got threats in North Korea, tension abound with Iran (whom we really hope to invade soon, if we could just find a good reason), Syria is in disarray, kids are taking aim at each other and killing anything they can't impregnate, and what's on the news?

Some baseball player broke his collarbone in a fight with another baseball player, endangering his 147 MILLION dollar contract (that, sadly, is not a typo. This dude makes 147 million dollars for tossing a ball around).

Some dickhead that fell off a golf cart is suing the Dallas Cowboys for a million dollars to cover damages from his embarrassment, because the video went viral (let's just suspend logic entirely, and not think about how it's about to go viral again).

Let's not forget why we tune into the news, folks. We desperately need to know that Jay-Z and Beyonce celebrated their anniversary in Havana.

At this point, we're about a month away from the top news story being about a dog playing piano, and it'll be delivered to us by a dancing cartoon hamster.

It's no wonder you all act like sheep, you're being fleeced.