I've decided to convert.
That's right, some Jehova's witness has finally explained to me just how a magical father figure is scientifically possible. They've even provided evidence.
I'm accompanying my new friend to Sweden shortly, where he'll be awarded the nobel prize in religion, after which, we intend to go help dismantle the large hadron collider, piece it out, and sell it in parts to collectors. This will help in the construction of the risen, living lord's palace, where I intend to kneel and beg for mercy for relying on facts and evidence for so long.
I'm sorry, oh high lord and master of all, for doubting your existence simply based on the extraordinary lack of proof. I'm sorry for being so fallible, and not realizing the Earth is only six-thousand years old, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I'm sorry for mocking your representatives here on Earth, who obviously know so much better than I how to guide our children.
I'm sorry, I can't keep this up any longer.
I'm actually laughing out loud at the ridiculousness of this idea, and now people on the train are moving away from me while trying to act casual.
Sorry, can't do it. I guess the art of an April Fool's joke lies in its believability.
Have fun today, folks, but don't hurt anyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment