Creationist Silliness: Part H8

Well, well, well...

It seems after the great Blogger crash of 2014, I've returned.

Thanks for your patience (I'm assuming you've been patient, because it's easier on my ego than realizing you likely didn't notice the lack of new material). 

I'm still plugging away at Buzzfeed's 22 Questions... because, let's face it, I enjoy it (sort of).

Today's question is the ninth one down, and the eighth I'm answering, since the first one was pointed directly at Mr. The Science Guy, and I am not he. It comes from a young woman who appears to be a hair's breadth away from full-blown anaphylaxis...

Or, she's not-so-secretly a Cabbage Patch doll...

"If God did not create everything, how did the first single-celled organism originate? By Chance?"

Well...

Yes.

...technically, but there's just a teensy-weensy bit more to it than that.

You see, Mitzy (or whatever they named you at the factory), science is oodles of fun, and super-neat, but it isn't quite as cut and dry as some other "explanations" for stuff. In other words, things like life, the universe, and everything are a bit too complex to just boil down to a simple "forty-two." That's just an easy way to dismiss the question and move on to more amusing stuff.

Like mauling children with bears for making fun of a bald guy...

This question has already been covered multiple times. 

Seriously.

Over, and over, and over again.

Quite notably, as a matter of fact, by National Geographic (they started out as a much more sciencey publication many, many moons ago) who covered this question FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO!

This isn't a "claim." it's proven data:

"... The probability that humans were created separately from everything else is 1 in 10 to the 6,000 power."

Let me put that into perspective for you:

There is a 

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...chance that a magical fucking sky genie scooped up some dust, formed it into a dude, then forgot to give that dude something to shove his cock into, put him to sleep, snatched his rib, and made him a playmate.

There are metric fucktons of organisms out there with varying cell counts. You know why?

The fucking Earth has been around for 4,500,000,000 years.

That's billion.

With a "B."

There's we, the homo sapiens sapiens...

My dog, who has far fewer cells, because she's only eight weeks old...

And because she's only eight weeks old, she has tiny turds full of dead parasitic worms with even fewer cells...

who in turn have bacteria in their own gut...

bacteria which, I'm willing to bet, has a better grasp of rudimentary biology than you do.

You're dismissed.