Creationist Silliness: Part Se7en

In my quest to undo the damage caused by ignorami (I don't care if that isn't a word, I'm using it) with internet access (and at the behest of a good friend of mine), I've  been forced to  decided to tackle Buzzfeed's 22 Questions...

Exhausting as this might be, it's a necessary evil.

Today's question comes from yet another dainty-bearded fellow who looks like he's just opened a shop in Colorado and smoked all the inventory.

"Where do you derive objective meaning in life?"

I'd like to point out that the emphasizing underline is his, not mine.

To be perfectly honest with you, I'm not even sure how to answer this; mainly because I don't really understand the question. I mean... dude... do you even science? Scientific study, by its nature, is objective. So, I suppose the answer to that question can be boiled down very succinctly to, "Science."

Then again...

The question is: "Where do you derive objective meaning in life?"

So, I'm confused...

Scientists usually use a laboratory or research facility of some kind, so I suppose that could be the "where."

But enough silliness... I suspect this cheeky, glassy-eyed fellow wants some sort of comparison to that poorly plotted out, edited-beyond-belief, exalted necronomicon-cum-moral guidebook they all seem to fancy.

While it's true that we rational types don't rigidly and blindly follow the Bible, that doesn't mean we have no source from which to derive objective  meaning in our lives. As a matter of fact, now might be a good time to point out that there are actually many, many, seriously fucking MANY books that aren't the Bible.

Many.

And most of them have better story lines, plot twists, and cohesion.

And better moral examples.

Might I recommend Aesop?

I know this might make your brain kind of sting, but one book written by hundreds of people thousands of years ago (and several decades after the death of its main character) is nowhere to derive objective meaning for anything.

It's quite SUBjective, in fact.

Here's where it gets a little complicated...

You can't derive objective meaning in life.

Why?

Because that's no fucking life. That's simply existence. Even if you zip off to your fortress of solitude and ponder the meaning of your own role in the world, by the very nature of what you're doing, you're being subjective about it. You have to.

You want objective meaning?

Objective?

As in "without personal feelings or biases?"

Fine.

Eat, shit, fuck, sleep, repeat.

There's your your objectivity.

Now, if you want meaning... true meaning... well, you have to find that out for yourself.

Everyone's path is different.

Everyone's purpose is different.

If you haven't found yours yet, don't give up.

Keep looking.

Maybe putting the only book you've ever almost read down will help.

Look up once in awhile. take some deep breaths, Ponder. Think without being told what to think.

Let your mind wander.

You're dismissed.