More Questions Than Answers.

Will someone PLEASE explain this to me? Please?
I ask for reasons, and this is what I get:

I believe in an intelligent designer through evidence; believe this designer is revealed in the Bible for many profound reasons. However a skeptical mind will never accept the Bible but taking that view would also make them a poor scientist; one not to be trusted! I believe in God for many reasons. Some... I believe there is proof of God in his creation, I believe there is proof of God from the Bible because of prophecies foretold; which have come  to pass; the way it is written is definitely not from the mind of man. To believe the latter takes reading & study; but a closed skeptical mind will never find truth.

 The perpetrator of this astonishingly myopic tripe also purports there is "scientific proof of a biblical god."

Where? I want to see it. If you have such proof, isn't it your duty as a christian to come forth and share it? Are you telling me that you have evidence that will change the world as we know it, but you're not willing to share it? And you're going to call me selfish and arrogant? Really?!

 If you want to believe in god, go ahead. I can't stop you. You have a right to believe what you wish. If you are a practicing scientist (this person is), and you deny scientific fact, you are in the wrong field, and you are turning back the clock on humanity's progress... unless, of course you have scientific evidence of god, in which case, you need to share that shit. If you've discovered scientific evidence of a biblical god, wouldn't all the amazing rewards humanity would bestow upon you for such a profound discovery be further proof of his blessing?

Holy Shit!

As a courtesy, I left the entire run of babble up there uninterrupted, but now it's time for a break down:

 I believe in an intelligent designer through evidence;

 What evidence? Show me this evidence. Where is it? Don't say "The Bible is evidence" because it isn't. It's one book. It's a single text that has been edited more times than the script for the pilot episode of "Soul Man."

  believe this designer is revealed in the Bible for many profound reasons. 

 What are your reasons, and why are they profound?

However a skeptical mind will never accept the Bible but taking that view would also make them a poor scientist;

What?

one not to be trusted!

 WHAT?!

I believe in God for many reasons. Some... I believe there is proof of God in his creation, I believe there is proof of God from the Bible because of prophecies foretold; which have come  to pass; the way it is written is definitely not from the mind of man. To believe the latter takes reading & study; but a closed skeptical mind will never find truth.

 So to sum up, you believe in god because you believe in god and furthermore, you believe in god because you do. Really. Seriously, dude, that's what you just said, but with a lot more unnecessary words. As far as your position that a "closed skeptical mind will never find truth." Um... Not so. A skeptical mind searches for truth. A Cynical mind may not. Moreover, you silly little man, if you are insisting that your god is truth, and no one will dissuade you regardless of how much evidence they shovel on top of your head, and you continue to point exclusively to your magic tome for answers AND NO OTHER TEXTS OF ANY KIND, who is it that's being close-minded? 

 Ladies and gentlemen, I've said this at least a few hundred times. You can NOT wave one book around, cherry pick parts of it you feel apply to your current argument, and declare it as divine truth. There is no such thing as divine truth, and when you're satisfied with accepting magic as fact, you close way more doors than you open. If you have evidence, present it. Hell, I'm not even using the old "get it peer reviewed" line on you (though, it does apply). I'm just saying present your evidence. ANY evidence. 

Rise of the Planet of the Dust People (Questions 3 and 4 of 21)

 Awhile ago, I set out to answer these 21 questions that "stupid scientists can't answer." It's been pointed out to me that this video was in jest... a trolling attempt. Nonetheless, I've found, much to my chagrin, that there are people who actually believe this shit. So, I will continue my evil, hedonistic, blasphemous plan to burst the bubbles of the ignorami (my preferred pluralization of the word "ignoramus") world-wide... or at least in my immediate vicinity. Again, these questions are copied and pasted from the video without alteration (in other words, I didn't even correct spelling errors in the questions. I did that on purpose, because I'm an asshole).

 Question 3: "Have you ever seen a mountain form?"

 No one has. Unless you count those childhood science class experiments with growing crystals, and even that is only a tool for showing the science behind the evidence. That's right, I said "science" and "evidence." It's the study of things... the deliberate seeking out of knowledge in order to explain things we don't quite understand, rather than throw our hands in the air and say "Sky wizard musta done it..." that enables us to better grasp the world around us. Mountains formed over millenia, not overnight, and not over a few meager decades. Don't level this question at us non believers unless you're prepared to answer one of equal caliber: Have you ever seen a human formed from dust?

 Question 4: "Why doesn't new life show up in a jar of peanut butter?"

 I've actually had people ask me this question in this exact phrasing. It always amazes me, and I love rebutting this one. After I collect my bottom jaw from the ground, I typically issue my regular answer. Preservatives and an airtight environment. Period. If the Earth were sealed in an airtight container, and injected with chemicals deliberately engineered to inhibit life, life wouldn't show up here either. It's actually a very simple answer. That being said, given enough time, and a slight modification of the conditions (and I mean only slight) life could in fact show up in a jar of peanut butter. Very easily. All you have to do is leave the lid off, and let it sit in the vast expanse of the world around it. If it isn't eaten, life will be along relatively shortly. It might even be as simple as a fly that deposits bacteria when it lands on the rim. That's all it takes. Now picture that the jar of peanut butter, with its modified conditions (the lid being opened) is Earth, and the fly (with its bacteria-laden legs) is an asteroid. When the two meet, viola! you've introduced life to an environment that can sustain it.

 This isn't a very difficult concept to grasp. What is difficult to grasp is that some magical sky ghost scooped up a bunch of dust (that, by the way, he created a couple days before) and molded it into a living, breathing organism, or that he then took a bone (where the fuck he got the bone, I don't know, because I don't recall anything about him changing the physical properties of dust) out of that man and created its counterpart. That, to me, is a little far fetched. There's no way that you can get six BILLION people with such a variety of traits from two completely homogeneous, white dust people in the course of six millenia. Especially when you take into account that your cloud wizard smote the entirety of mankind (according to the fairy tale) and started from scratch because we weren't doing it right. Sorry, kids, but that sounds a lot to me like pissing on a chalk drawing because someone else put a mark on it.

Letting Go of God

 It seems like a lot of people are having trouble with this for some reason, so here's the thing.

 I'm an atheist.

 I'll let you recover from that shock for a moment, and let that sink in... Good? Okay. So, for those of you who didn't swoon in disbelief, faint from shock, or run to the hills fleeing my godless blasphemy, let me explain:

 Once upon a time (which incidentally, is how I think The Bible should have opened), I was a Christian. Yes, really. I didn't come to Atheism and Anti-theism by accident, or from being jaded, abused, mocked, tossed asunder, or looked on with disdain. All those things happened coincidentally, and have no relevance on my chosen lack of religion. Those things still do happen from time to time, and that is just human nature.

 So how did I come to Atheism? I did what a vast majority of Christians still don't do: I read The Bible. Cover to cover. I read it... well... religiously, at one point. After I read it, I read it again. And again. I read multiple versions of it. I still have several incarnations of it on my bookshelf... in the fiction section... under Lord of the Rings, and a plethora of R.A. Salvatore novels. No matter how many times I read it, and regardless of how many adaptations of it I read, it still does not make sense. Not at all. Not a whit. Not as proof of an indisputable series of facts to believe in without question. Nope. Though I will concede that as an allegory, it does have some valid points, and as a fable, it does have merit, it is also filled to the brim with violence, hate, bigotry, incest, bloodshed, famine, rape, and atrocities that if filmed for any modern day movie would instantly be grounds for branding it with an NC-17 rating.

 From a very young age, I had questions. I had questions in spades. I had more questions than there were satisfactory answers, and that made me a sinner, which is okay, because according to that book, everyone is a sinner. According to that book, everyone is absolved already, even for sins they haven't yet committed. We're even absolved from the sins of our fathers. Where, then, is the logic that we are offending this wizard in the sky if we don't ask for the forgiveness that we are supposed to already have, because he descended from heaven and washed our sins away already? By way of comparison, if  I decide to cook dinner for my wife because I love her and want to show her my love, I don't demand afterwards that she beg me to make her dinner. I've already cooked it. It's on the table, and being eaten (incidentally, I love my wife too much to ever subject her to my cooking, but the analogy stands).

 I have found, by way of extensive research and empirical data collection, that The Bible is fiction. There is no evidence to back any of its claims. You're asking me to believe in a single book written by dozens of humans which, as stated in that very book, are fallible. No.

 The Bible tells me that homosexuality is an abomination, when science and provable evidence demonstrate before my own eyes that it is a genetic variant.

 The Bible tells me that the entirety of the human race was created from a handful of dust molded into one man, and a woman created from one rib of that one man. Science and evidence give me tangible proof that this is a physical impossibility. That evolution is the truth.

 The Bible tells me that black people are black because of the curse of Canaan. Science and genetics show concretely that melanin, not voodoo, is responsible for skin tone.

 Belief in the Christian god is as archaic now as belief in the Roman gods that it usurped and assimilated. We are human. We evolved, and we continue to evolve. Part of that evolution is unraveling the mysteries of life, discovering new things, and understanding things we didn't before.

 We once believed that illness was caused by a small troll or gnome living in the stomach, but science has taught us otherwise.
 We once thought that bloodletting would balance the humors of the body and restore it to health regardless of the ailment, but science has taught us otherwise.
 We once thought that blood sacrifices would ensure a bountiful harvest, but science has taught us otherwise.

 It is my hope that someday we can say, "We once thought that a magical sky ghost molded the vast universe and everything in it in six days, but science has taught us otherwise."

Challenge Accepted... (Questions 1 & 2 of 21).

 Okay, so the first question asked by this science doubting buffoon is:

"Why are planets round?"

 Here's the thing: The planets are round for a variety of reasons, all of them scientifically provable. Over billions of years of formation, accretion, gravity, and centripetal force have resulted in an inherent roundness of planets, stars, and other cosmic bodies. Not because god's hands are perfectly round, and smooth since he doesn't actually do anything, (or exist) but because it is a simple and fundamental law of physics. Gravitational pull keeps the planets in position and orbit - both the gravity of the planet itself, and its surrounding moons (if any) also bear part of the responsibility of keeping a given planet in check and spinning properly. This spin, when compounded by the planet's natural gravitational field, gives the astral body its iconic roundness. The sheer size of the planet is also a factor, but in general, the gravitational pull of the planet's centre, as well as its surrounding bodies in conjunction with its spin and geological properties, as well as a host of other physical factors all keep the planet "round." If you want evidence to gravity's part in this cosmic dance, all you have to do is notice the tides on our own planet. High and low tides are a result of the moon's gravitational pull on the planet, and actually make it more oblong than truly "round," since the vastness of Earth's oceans ebbs and flows with direct correlation to the moon's proximity to a given area of the Earth at any particular time.

Next.

"Go to the zoo and tell me, why doesn't a chimpanze give birth to a man?"

 Because Chimpanzees (there ARE two Es in that word, by the way) are not men.
Next question.
What, you want more?
Okay, fine.

 Chimpanzees, while also classified as greater primates, are not humans. Humans belong to the species Homo Sapiens, while chimpanzees are Simia troglodtyes. Humans are, therefore, a different species that are closely related to, without being, chimpanzees. They are in the same family, Hominidae, but not of the same species. Put succinctly, we are two separate offshoots of the same evolutionary master strain.

 Let me put it in terms you might understand better: Your devil, according to the greatest lie ever told, was once an angel. He technically still is an angel, just a different variant of one, as are all of his accomplices, now labelled as demons. So while his ancestry is the same as that of the angel Gabriel or Micheal in your fairy tales, he is also not of the exact same makeup. He is also different. To put it even more simplistically, a house cat does not fuck a tiger, or give birth to a lion because while they are all cats, they are different variants, or species, of the same family, Felidae.

 I don't even have to go to the zoo as you suggest to tell you this, although perhaps by throwing you into the gorilla habitat (also family: Hominidae, incidentally) you might understand the concept of close relation without exact duplication.

 This is all basic, elementary school science. it isn't magic. These are things that we now have an understanding of, whereas our ancestors didn't. While they may have needed a fantastic sky ghost to explain things they didn't understand, we do not. We know now that the Earth revolves around the sun, a star that is one of several billion in the galaxy, which is also one of several billion.

 It is pure arrogance to think that an omnipresent, omniscient being decided to create what equates to a few atoms on a grain of sand lying on an entire beach full of similar grains just to worship him and give him praise of their own free will or suffer eternal damnation at his hands even though he loves us so dearly.

Challenge Accepted.

 Over the next several weeks, I will be tackling "questions" put forth by a youtube user on his / her video "21 Facts Evolutionists Can't Answer."The video will make people who are capable of thought scream with rage. It is tedious, dangerous, and at times, simply infuriating with its deep right wing, ill (or non) educated bullshit and hyperbole. So why am I doing this? For the same reason I do most things. Education. I firmly and wholeheartedly believe that education is the key to progress, and by answe ring these questions thoroughly, I truly hope to dispel all of the myths about we evil, godless atheists, and demonstrate what cold hard fact, experimentation, study, research, and science can accomplish in so much as true peace and progress. Also, I do for the same reason anybody does anything. For the lols.

 A few key points:

I will present the "questions" as they are written in the video. Completely unaltered.
I will present my answers with references to verifiable data as well as off color jokes.
I will have fun at the expense of the uploader, and quite possibly also at the expense of fundamentalist creationists.

This blog is in part to educate, but admittedly also in part to amuse both myself and hopefully others, so I will not be taking this on from the exclusive angle of a dry, mirthless argument.

This series will offend some of you, but I truly hope that it instead opens your eyes, For others, it will provide catharsis, and chuckles. This is your only warning.