I'm a Self-Loathing Closet Homosexual Who Desperately Wants to Win, and I Approve This Message.

 So, I just watched the most disliked video of all time on youtube,
Rick Perry's "Strong" ad, where he ACTUALLY says:

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again. I'm Rick Perry and I approve this message.

 You know what? I honestly can't believe people are taking this guy seriously. I mean, It's easier to accept Jimmy McMillan as a serious candidate! Especially with that FABULOUS geocities website, amirite?

 Okay, so let's take the ACTUAL transcript from Sick Perry's ad, and go through it, shall we?

 I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian,


(Stop! No one is, Rick. Not in America, not anymore. As a matter of fact, most people will make every effort to beat your head in with their bible, sooner than act in the appropriate "christian" way toward you. This, obviously, includes you, so just stop with the phony persecution act.)


 but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

(actually, the bible doesn't say anything about having to be in a pew EVER. Resting your fat, wealthy ass on an oak slab while you preen and posture, and pretend you're not good enough for god once a week while pretending you ARE god the other six days does NOT a christian make! I can't even wrap my head around this one. This entire sentence, from "don't need to be in a pew every Sunday..." to "...pray in school" just epitomizes non-sequitur, and makes the hamster running the wheel in my head do cartwheels. What the FUCK are you talking about?!) 

 As President, I'll end Obama's war on religion. (Obama is not campaigning against religion, we're talking about the POTUS here in 2011, not King James... whom you should all know... especially, ironically, republican christians) 

And I'll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. (of which there are none)

Faith made America strong. (No, unity made America strong).

It can make her strong again. I'm Rick Perry and I approve this message.

  Rick, I don't know if you really want to cop to approving this message. It's rife with the obscenity, vulgarity, and myopia that has come to define your party. While you may gain entrance to the country club as a result of shilling their ridiculous, outmoded views, you're certainly not going to gain voters. Thank you, however, for giving us all a glimpse into what could happen to our system and way of life if we cease to care about our political system. Oh, and another thing, Dick Faerie Rick Perry, the whole "I don't want no queers lookin' at me while I'm in the barracks" thing is ridiculous. Enough, already. Let me tell you something, if someone believes in what they're doing, and has that level of patriotism that they're willing to die to protect our way of life, without question, they can go right ahead and cover my ass whether they're checking it out or not! As a matter of fact, if they choose to check out my ass while they're preventing it from being shot off, that's fine! I'll consider it a compliment, and be glad about it. It's the least I can do if that person is willing to take a fucking round through the chest in my defense... asshole!

For the record: our children ARE allowed to pray openly in school. There is nothing disallowing it. The only limit to prayer in school is in regards to public schools, and even then, students are allowed to pray openly, as a matter of fact, teachers are not allowed to tell them they can't. The limit is that teachers in a public school are not allowed to lead their classroom in prayer... in a public school. It's a matter of respecting other people's religious beliefs, something it seems the Christian right is losing sight of more and more these days.