Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Latest Rental Scam


I've decided to stop being nice to these people:


Hello,
It gives me great joy to know that you have interest in my lovely house,its still very much available for rent and ready for immediate occupancy. I am sure you would be asking yourself why my rent is low, that's because i am not too keen about the amount in renting the house out but to whom i am renting the house out to. My intention is to rent my house to someone that is responsible and be ready to take great care of the house as if it were his or hers. I am very certain that you would love the comfy of the house.
I would like you to know that i am giving this house out for rent because i have been posted to West Africa as an Pediatrician (kid's doctor) and would spend couple of years before i would be through with my assignment here. So my family and i have decided that we would be moving to our other home in Seattle, Washington when we get back to the states,i would like you to complete the tenant application form below and please be honest with these details to enable us choose the right tenant.
LOCATION:700 Block North Taney Street, Philadelphia PA 19130.
Rent Per Month: $800 (Including Utilities)Security Deposit: $600 (Refundable)
HOUSE FEATURES:Large 3 Bedroom With Living Room,2 BathHigh CeilingsStainless Steel AppliancesFormal Dining RoomSeparate Kitchen,Brand New Cabinets,Electric Cooker,dish washer & RefrigeratorWasher and Dryer in the apartment also.
So now it's time to have a little fun...

COMPLETE THE TENANT APPLICATION FORM BELOW: Okay, sure.

RENT APPLICATION FORM.

FULL CONTACT NAME? Rumplestiltskin  
                                     
OCCUPATION? Soul collection agent

RESIDENTIAL HOME ADDRESS? 221B Baker St.

YOUR CELLPHONE NUMBER? 215-867-5309

YOUR HOME PHONE NUMBER? Same

YOUR WORKPLACE NUMBER? Same (I'm a freelancer)

WHAT TIME IS THE BEST TIME TO REACH YOU? Between midnight and 3am EST

AGE & MARITAL STATUS? 67 years old, and a polygamist

OWN A PET? Just the 7 children, and the wolverines I use to keep them in line.

OWN A CAR? No, i prefer to steal one when I need it.

HOW MANY PEOPLE SHALL RESIDE IN THE PREMISES? That depends. Sometimes I let the initiates stay over to recover after the ritual.

ANTICIPATED MOVE IN DATE? As soon as possible (the police are getting a little nosy around here).

DO YOU AGREE TO PAY THE DEPOSIT BEFORE RECEIVING THE KEYS? Do you accept Lilliputians?

WHEN DO YOU INTEND PAYING THE DEPOSIT? I'm not really good with all that wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff.

REFERENCE? No thanks.
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Application Comment
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After i have received these details above, i would discuss with my Wife and let you know my terms and how we would conclude the Lease process so you can move into the House asap.

I hope to hear from you soonest..

Please let me know. thanks for your consideration. Looking forward to hearing from you soonest as well.

Yours in Satan,

Rumplestiltskin.

I'll be sure to post a follow up if I get one. This should be fun...

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