A 20 year old kid named Jeremy opened the debate with a question about his future after graduation. Mitt opened with thanking a laundry list of people like it was the oscars, then went on about his 5 point plan. Personally, I think he just likes to point. Here's the five things Mitt's pointing at, in no particular order:
1- YOU people: The people that are causing the problem in this country by continuing to be poor, trying to claw your way out of debt, whining about paying his share of the taxes for him, and having the audacity to demand transparency of your potential
2- Single mothers: These Kalishnikov-wielding, abortion-having, lowlives are apparently responsible for the downfall of society, and an egregious lack of sammiches.
3- The middle class: Something that, for some reason, Mr. Romney thinks actually exists. Mitt seems to think this demographic is just chock full of people making a quarter million dollars a year, and those poor, unfortunate people are being taxed to death. Mitt "let me be the moderator" Romney asserts that "...every middle-income taxpayer no longer will pay any tax on interest, dividends or capital gains. No tax on your savings. That makes life alot easier." Translation: "every middle-income taxpayer will no longer be taxed on all the things us rich white guys haven't been taxed on for years, but I'm still going to balance the budget. How? I can't tell you. A magician never reveals his secrets."
5- The format: Romney has serious issues with the format. namely, it (and the moderator, Candy "I'm not going to take your shit like Lehrer did" Crowley) did not allow for Mitt the Twit's bully tactics. He was caught completely off guard, because he expected to waltz in and steamroll everyone in the room like he did with the first debate. He wasn't expecting to be reined in. he wasn't expecting to be held to the format and the rules of the debate, and he sure as hell wasn't expecting to be told to sit down by some plebeian who actually pays taxes.
The most epic question of the night came at about 43 minutes in, and it went a little something like this: "Mr. Romney, how are you any different than George W. Bush."
Boom.
No, seriously... BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Romney's response? I- I- I appreciate that question. I do want to point out that I think I was supposed to get the last response on that last question. Uh... uh...uh... He then went into his 5 point plan for the third time of the night.
Translation: "This isn't fair. No one told me I was going to have to answer real questions. I'm going to take my ball and go home... and what is that? IS THAT ANOTHER BLACK GUY!? No one said there were going to be more of those here!"
It was at this point in the debate that Romney really started to look like Rainman, with Obama as "the guy who doesn't understand what's wrong with him" and Crowley in the Tom Cruise role, trying to settle him down before he freaks out about not being able to watch The People's Court.
Romney also pointed out that the Reagan administration's policies created twice as many jobs as the Obama administration. Well... Reagan was also president for twice as long, so what does that tell you?
At an hour and four minutes in, it got ugly. Mitt asked the president if he looked at his pension (trying to defend his overseas investments). The president looked him straight in his plastic face and told him "my pension's not as big as yours, so it doesn't take as long." At which point, the audience broke the rules and erupted in laughter. Candy told the governor to sit down. As well she should, since the question was about immigration, not overseas investments.
Mitt "Let's see if we can sneak this one in" Romney tried desperately to call Obama out on his actions regarding Libya by pointing out that the POTUS went to a fundraiser the day after, and another the day after that. Apparently, he forgot that Obama was standing right there... as was Candy Crowley.
Obama addressed this with a statement detailing what he actually did. He used facts and everything. Mitt tried to rebut this with another falsehood, but even Crowley called him out on it.
The audience again broke the rules by erupting in applause.
This is the point at which I'm nearly certain FOX news had a conniption fit about the godless liberal bias of the moderator. I mean, how DARE she back up the statement of a democrat! I would assert that when it's a matter of facts and verifiable record, the moderator should absolutely be allowed to call bullshit.
The next question was about automatic weapons, but somehow Mitt "let's become an energy independent nation by invading Canada and laying more pipe" Romney turned it into an opportunity to tout his home state's rank in education. An achievement for which he is not responsible, and turn it into a bit about single mothers.
Crowley reminded him what the question was about.
The last question of the night was rather innocuous but somehow Mitt the Twit turned it into a religious issue. We get it. You believe in god. It would do well for people to pay attention, however, to the fact that the god you believe in lives on planet Kolob, and his holy relics consist of seeing stones, and magic underwear.
Obama waited until he had the last word to deliver the coup de grace - a one two punch that consisted of steering the talk back to politics and away from religion, and making sure we remember that Romney thinks 47% of us are slackers with our hands out.
Here's the bottom line:
You can vote for Romney, and make sure your marriage isn't infected with the plague of homosexuality, have faith in the magic mathematics that he uses, and cross your fingers, hoping that the secret plan he has for this country is good enough to bounce this country back, or you can vote for Obama, and risk an all out war as binders full of single women invade the middle class and take your jobs while having abortions with AK-47s.
~So sayeth the Mofo
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