Derelict

Let me get this straight:

4,000 poor, terrified tourists had their vacation ruined because of a fire onboard a cruise ship, and it's a national tragedy?

Is that right?

How many died?

None?

Not one?

The Triumph is 60 miles offshore, and being towed in by two tugboats, instead of stranded at sea, or at the bottom of the ocean. 60 miles away from the safety of the American shore...okay, it is Alabama, but still...relative safety. I wonder what that's like. Perhaps we should ask a Cuban refugee.

Thousands of rich people who can afford it, and radio show listeners who can't, have had to suffer the agony of being inconvenienced by a potentially fatal fire, and thus have had to camp on deck...in the gulf of Mexico...and it's being hailed as a "nightmare at sea" (cue swelling dirge). I wonder what the people of the Maersk Alabama (you know, that ship that was accosted by Somolian pirates) would think about that.

I heard one reporter this morning (who seems to think he's due for a pulitzer) talk about the cold weather they'll be greeted with at port, calling it "the final indignity" these poor wretches will have to endure. Let's ask the survivors of the Titanic about final indignity, shall we? Oh, wait... Well, there's always the survivors of the Bismarck. No?

Let me see if I can put this into perspective:

There was a fire aboard your cruise ship. Fires are very dangerous things, but in this case, thankfully, no one was hurt. Your cruise ship (ostensibly packed with enough food and gear for the passenger manifest for at least a few days) went derelict. Thankfully, it did not capsize. Rather than being stranded at sea, or running aground on a mysterious island where the occasional mine or crate of radioactive vegetables might wash up, you're being towed to safe harbor. No egotistical professor is making overly elaborate devices, and no little buddies are fouling them up.

It sucks ass, yes, but it's not the end of the world.

When seven castaways suffer more over the course of several years than you have in the past few days, and they make it a sitcom, you're not suffering all that much. You've merely been grossly inconvenienced, and it's an inconvenience that you can rest assured will be met with a round of official apologies, remuneration, talk show appearances and possibly a shiny award or two for the brave passengers of the Triumph.

I really don't want to hear anymore about how these people's flip flops have been ruined. Get it off the news and save it for ther made for T.V. movie starring Judith Light and Meredith Baxter.