Conundrum

How to silence a pro-lifer with a simple questionnaire.

The following is from the point of view of myself speaking directly to the aforementioned rights-trouncing dolt:

Do you now, or have you ever owned a pet that you had spayed or neutered?

If you answered yes, continue reading. If not, move to question two.

As you may well be aware, reproductive organs are a big help when it comes to procreation. Spaying or neutering a pet involves the surgical removal of some rather essential bits and pieces of said system by a qualified professional whom you pay to do so...without the consent of the animal, I assure you.

Now, I know you may be convulsing with restraint and itching to argue that it's different because "they're animals and we're not," but that's just plain scientifically inaccurate, so hush your facehole.

We are, in fact, animals, we just happen to have the intelligence to be able to recognize that, so I suggest you use it.

Have you ever eaten?

Yes, that's the entire question.

"Have you ever eaten?"

Anything?

Ever?

I understand you may want to contest this question's relevance immediately, but I implore you once again to bring your lips together in a non-sound-emitting way.

You see, everything you ever have or ever will consume for the purpose of your own sustenance was, at some point, alive.

Some items are even alive right up to and until such time as they drop into the extremely corrosive pool of digestive juices inside you. Aside from the obvious meats, plants, and eggs that I'm certain a vast portion of you have consumed, there are yogurts and cheeses (which contain live cultures), and although you might be quick to point to butter, milk, or another like product, even they have undergone pasteurization for the exclusive purpose of killing shit that might ruin either it, or you.

Do you support the death penalty, the use of deadly force, drones, war, chemical castration, or ownership of lethal weapons capable of killing more than one person at a time?

Yes? Then you're not pro-life.

Are you willing to feed, clothe, house, and support any and every child on Earth, regardless of its relation / lack thereof to you, and / or part with your money for purposes of same?

No? Then you're not pro-life.

Do you come equipped with a vagina, or do you have any plans to become outfitted with one in the future?

Yes? Then you ought to retain the rights of ownership.

No? Then, I invite you once again to remain speechless until such time as you can raise valid counterpoints.
Any stupidity, intended or implied, on your part will result in further derision, scorn, and contempt.

Have a nice day.

Hypocrisy Abounds

 GOD DAMN IT! When are people going to fucking realize that "pro-choice" does NOT mean "I want to kill your children!?" It means pro fucking choice. Choice. Remember that word? Choice? Here, I'll break it down for you:

choice
Noun: An act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.
noun.  selection - option - pick - election - assortment

 As you can see (assuming you are capable of synthesizing this information) CHOICE, as opposed to COMPULSION, is more in line with what the forefathers of our country had in mind in most things. It's what this nation was fucking founded on! By being pro CHOICE, I am not compelling YOU to do one thing or another, I'm standing up for YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE!

 Assholes.

 I'm so fucking exhausted with having to explain this shit, I really am. My belief that a person has a RIGHT to choose does not have any affect whatsoever on your CHOICE. That's for you to decide. Personally, I find it offensive that people find my support of their right to have options presented to them, rather than be compelled one way or another, offensive. What the fervent, flying fuck do you not understand?

 Now... let me take a breath and try to handle this with ever so slightly more decorum:

 No, I am not a woman, but I do support the idea that you ought to have the right to decide what to do with your body. ESPECIALLY if you weren't given the option to intentionally place it into a state of gestation.

 No, I have never given birth, but I do believe that as a citizen of the United States of America, you are granted certain unalienable rights. Among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If bearing children impedes your right to life, you should have the option to make a decision about that. If it strips your right to liberty (I.E. You weren't consulted on the idea of becoming pregnant), you should be allowed options. If it halts you in your pursuit of happiness (for instance, the child will most likely be stillborn, or is the product of rape, or is likely to kill you in the process of becoming full term), you ought to be granted alternatives. Notice how in NONE of those arguments did I say "You ought to scrape it out." Again, I'm not insisting that you believe as I do, I'm staunchly defending your right to believe what you wish!

 No, I've never been pregnant, but I'm not forcing my beliefs onto you and insisting that you do it my way because if you don't the invisible man in the sky will get you.

 Here's the thing: it seems to me that a vast majority of pro-lifers (the ones killing all the abortion doctors) are ultra-conservative, right wing, republican, super-rich psycho-Christians. That's fine. I wholeheartedly support their right to choose that option. While I don't agree with it, one of the fundamental things that I believe in my core is that in this country, we all have the right to follow our own pathos and ideologies. (Yes, I used the word "pathos" intentionally).

 What I'm having trouble understanding is this: These are the same people that want to shirk their civic duties and responsibilities to the progress of the nation as a whole. They want their money to be their money, and no one else's. They don't want to pay taxes, they don't want government, and they don't want you to disagree with them. These are the anti-welfare, anti-unemployment, anti-healthcare reform, anti-poor-people people. If people don't have the option, the CHOICE, or the education necessary to make the right decisions for their lives, or correct mistakes made by themselves, or mistakes made by other people but forced onto them, they will encumber society. Don't you get it? YOU'RE SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE WALLET!

 Planned Parenthood isn't about "killing babies." For starters, in cases of abortion, the cells removed are not yet proven to be viable. More importantly, however, (as the title of the establishment would suggest) it's about "planned" parenthood. It's about education, so that young people can make better decisions. So, stop railing against them because you seem to think all they do is scrape out unwanted babies.

 As far as all you people who insist that any collection of cells that is capable of holding and maintaining life should be protected, don't be so fucking sanctimonious. A tumor is a collection of living cells. A parasite is a collection of living cells. That lemongrass smoothie you got from Hoity-Toity's House of Douchebaggery before going to the office to rape consumers out of their hard earned cash was a collection of living cells. Yogurt? Living cells. Cheese? Living cells. Salad? Living fucking cells.

 Oh, and before you chime in with the standard-issue question that's supposed to make me change my mind, ("What if your mom chose to abort you?") she wouldn't have. I was conceived (albeit, to the chagrin of many) on purpose. That is a bullshit argument built on a horse shit foundation, because guess what? When I was born, my mother did, in fact, have a choice. She chose to afflict the world with me anyway.