Reason #666 Why I'm an Atheist.

Here's a typical, garden variety, everyday conversation I have on a near-daily basis, broken down mathematically, for fellow nerds:

• Religious Zealot: I believe X.
• Me: That intrigues me. Why, when there is so much evidence for Y, do you believe in X?
• Religious Zealot: Because the Bible says X is true.
• Me: I see, but what non-biblical corroborating evidence do you have to support X, that opposes the evidence in support of Y, which people have accepted on the basis of sources A,B,C,and D?
• Religious Zealot: OMG STOP ATTACKING ME! X IS TRUE!!!!!!
• Me: I'm not attacking you, I'm asking you why you believe X is true simply because the bible says it's true, when clearly, there is a preponderance of evidence based on scientific experimentation and empirical data that definitively shows Y to be the truth.
• Religious Zealot: Y is just a theory! The BIBLE says X is the truth, and I BELIEVE THE BIBLE BECAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS THE BIBLE IS TRUE! Now STOP attacking and hating me, you soul-less, blasphemous, heathen! You're going to HELL for ALL of eternity. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE SUCH HATRED FOR ME!!!!! 
• Me: ... Seriously?

 Here's the thing: I whole-heartedly support anyone's Constitutional right to believe in whatever they wish. Unequivocally. With one caveat: If what you believe begins to interfere with any of the Constitutional rights of any American citizen (be it education, marriage, or otherwise), I , and others like me, will challenge your beliefs. Not only should such beliefs be challenged, it is MY Constitutional right, Which is neither more, nor less important than yours, to do so. 

 When superstition causes a group of people to deliberately seek out and destroy another group of people's rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness using legislation for which religion is the obvious catalyst, it is simply wrong. There is a vast array of other words to describe it, but purely speaking, it's just wrong. It's wrong on a fundamental level in that such religion-based legislation is both implicitly and explicitly forbidden by the single most important governing document of the United States: The Constitution. 

 The same Amendment that gives you the right to practice whatever religion you wish also gives me the right to challenge those beliefs. This amendment, the very first one, also expressly demands separation of church and state. Question is not equal to hatred. "Why?" is not an attack. 

 Religious Zealots, particularly Christians in the U.S., continue to try to strip Constitutional rights away from select groups of other U.S. citizens with ridiculous and hateful legislation like Prop 8 in California, and now, Amendment 1 in North Carolina. When will we learn to respect people, regardless of their birth? With any luck, this abomination will be repealed, and your children will be less ashamed of you. 

 You can NOT base your perception of reality on one single text, simply because that text claims itself to be true. By that rationale, I can argue that I am God. Since you can't disprove it, does that make me right? What If I say, "I am God, and I say that what I just said is true." Now, you're in a bind, aren't you? Do you dare to disbelieve me, and risk an eternity in hell, because I love you so much that I'm going to punish you forever for arguing with me? You can't argue a point with any validity by saying "I believe X because I believe it, so it's true." That's called delusion, and it's a sign of mental illness. 

 Don't believe me? Disprove it.

Three Revolutionaries Walk Into a Bar...

 HOLY SHIT! YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING INSANE, YOU KNOW THAT?! (You know who you are).

 Let me be very fucking explicit here, and I mean that in the definitive sense, not the connotative "I'm about to use naughty words" sense (though the latter is certainly also true).

 Homosexuality is NOT a choice. Seriously. It's a matter of scientific fucking fact. It's a little area called Genetics, and it is awesome in every sense of the word. If you'd pick up a book other than the one full of fairy tales, you'd know that.

 With the new aberration just passed in Podunk, N.C., there is an awful lot of celebratory gunfire and yee-hawing going on, but what you people (and I use that term very loosely right now) don't seem to realize is that YOU are OPPRESSING a HUGE population of human beings. People just like you (with the exception that you have more rights now). Those of you who just reached voting age, your parents might be appalled. Why? Because your parents are the ones that cried out for equality and got the ban on inter-racial marriage repealed in 1971.

 What the fuck is wrong with you people that you have this primal need to squash one group or another under foot? Seriously, someone explain it to me. In terms I can understand. Scientific terms. Give me facts. Give me evidence. Don't sit there and tell me you're against something because your interpretation of one interpretation of one religious sect's book of fables tells you so. It's bullshit. It's a cop out. it's fucking lazy!

 So here are a few facts for you (those of you who are devoutly religious, myopic, and don't like things like evidence, facts, or proof may want to navigate away from this blog now if you haven't already):

•  America was NOT founded on the King James Bible. It was founded on Democratic ideals. These ideals were the direct catalyst for the birth of this nation. The Constitution states ALL men are created equal. Period. Not just white men, not just heterosexual men, and not just Christian men. ALL FUCKING MEN! 
• The line in the Pledge of Allegiance that says "under god" was added in the 1950s as a knee-jerk reaction to communism. This means that for those of you who are constantly posting in Facebook about how "when I was a kid, the Pledge of Allegiance stated "under god." You're grandparents never did. Your point is invalid.
• Evolution is a fucking fact. It's been proven just like Gravity, Heliocentrism, many theories in Genetics, and Thermodynamics. If you drop shit, it falls down. The Earth revolves around the sun (and by the way, is also round). Many deviations in human development can be traced to one gene or another, and homo sapiens share a common ancestor with other great apes. Fucking deal with it.
• Homosexuality is a matter of genetics, not choice. Period. Full stop. It isn't only found in Hominids, it's actually found in something like 400 species. It's been proven repeatedly. 
• Questions are not attacks. This one really fucking infuriates me. I am NOT attacking you when I ask "why?" I'm asking you to support your position. If you ask me to support my position, I will do so. I understand that you may be trying to understand where I'm coming from, and I welcome the opportunity to impart any amount of the knowledge I've gained through formal study, or empirically. Stop with the oppressed majority bullshit!
• "It's true because the bible says it's true" is NOT a valid argument. Stop using it. By that rationale, anything I write is true as long as I include statements in that piece that assert its veracity. Again, this is a lazy cop out because thinking is too hard for you. KNOCK IT OFF!

 As far as voting to ban marriage between same sex couples (because let's call it what it is, it isn't "gay marriage" it's just "marriage"), in a state that still legally allows marriage between first cousins, that's pretty fucking ballsy. You CAN NOT base legislature on your bible. By doing so, you are not just ostracizing homosexuals, you're also ostracizing anyone who isn't Christian, and that is something that The Constitution of The United States, a document I grew up with and hold very dear (as should all of you who enjoy its freedoms), STRICTLY and EXPLICITLY forbids.

 What you rabidly proud bible thumpers don't seem to be able to grasp, as much as you pride yourselves on being " 'Mericans," is that even if the Bible, the Qu'ran, the Torah, the Book of the Dead, and The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ALL were against homosexuality, you STILL could not base legislature on them, thanks to separation of church and state. 

 Another fact for you: I am a happily married heterosexual man. That's right, supporting other human's rights doesn't immediately make me one of those humans. It simply means I believe in EQUAL rights. Were it the 1960s, I would fully support desegregation. That doesn't automatically make me black anymore than supporting equality in marriage makes me gay. I also support no-kill shelters. That doesn't make me a dog, or a cat, does it?

 Stop trying to legislate morality! Stop trying to cram your unfounded religious drivel down everyone's throat. If you were really as Christian as you claim to be, you would love your fellow man, and turn the other cheek. You can't cherry pick the parts of your magical tome by which you choose to abide any more than you can cherry pick which laws you're not going to break.

*This blog post is absolutely true. There, it's been said. No denying it now.

Right Wing Mythbuster.

 Isn't it funny how the people that believe this country was founded by people seeking religious freedom are the ones trying to cram Christianity down everyone's throat? Here are a few right-wing myths set beside the actual facts for your perusal:

 "Obama is a socialist nigger from Kenya!" 

 He's actually mixed race democrat from Hawaii, by way of Illinois (though why anyone would chose to move from Hawaii to Illinois is beyond me). Although his father was Kenyan, his mother was a stark white women, and natural born citizen of the United States, married to his father prior to his birth. Personally, I think a majority of the idiotic hate that Obama faces can more appropriately be tracked to the fact that his father married, and vigorously fucked a white woman. Something the tiny minds of the religious right just can't accept, but don't want to publicly say they can't accept.

 "If them fags are allowed to marry each other because of their choice of lifestyle, why can't I marry a horse?" 

 Because homosexuals don't have a choice in their orientation, they're born with it. Whom you love is not a matter of choice, it's a matter of heart, and no human being should be denied the right to marry another human being (assuming both humans are of equal maturity and intelligence, and of legal age to do so). You can't marry a horse because it wouldn't be a mutual decision, as marriage is, and marriage is an exclusively human rite. In addendum, animals are not granted rights under the Constitution of The United States as citizens. Although what you chose to do with your junk is your own business (and what anyone else chooses to do with their junk is their business, incidentally), your argument here, is asinine, banal, juvenile, ill-founded, and pedantic.

"Poor people are lazy, and just want me to hand them my money!"

 Most poor people are not lazy. most poor people are poor because they're shouldering more than their fair share of a burden that is the responsibility of the entire working nation. We poor people don't want YOUR money, we just want our own, and we're sick of donating a majority of the pittance we break our backs, bleed, sweat, and raise callouses on our fingers for to your lobbying efforts, political campaigns, bailouts, and tax relief.

"Non-christians are Satanic heathens!"

 Nope. Muslims, who practice the Islamic religion, worship an analogue of your god that they call Allah, Buddhists worship an analogue of your god (albeit much less self-centered and vengeful) that they call Buddha, and Atheists worship no god. Satanism is, by definition, a religion; one whose practitioners worship Satan.

"My kid should be allowed to pray in school! They're stomping on my religious freedom!" 

 Your kid IS allowed to pray in school. There is nothing barring your child, or any other, from praying while in school, or any other public place. There ARE, however, conventions set forth by our forefathers protecting the rights of EVERYONE. Not just your kid. Prayer IS allowed in public school, it just isn't, and shouldn't be mandatory. You'd be just as pissed off if public schools taught the Qu'ran, or (god forbid) the Torah, because what you actually mean is: "My kid isn't forced to pray in school." Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, and therefore, religion is not mandated in public schools. You can, however, take the money I'm saving you by paying your share of the taxes that go to those public schools, and put your child in a private, charter, or catholic school, where they have entire classes dedicated to non-standard, ELECTIVE subjects such as religion. Ironically, though, you're forcing your child to participate in a religion that may or may not fit with their beliefs.

Hypocrisy Abounds

 GOD DAMN IT! When are people going to fucking realize that "pro-choice" does NOT mean "I want to kill your children!?" It means pro fucking choice. Choice. Remember that word? Choice? Here, I'll break it down for you:

choice
Noun: An act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.
noun.  selection - option - pick - election - assortment

 As you can see (assuming you are capable of synthesizing this information) CHOICE, as opposed to COMPULSION, is more in line with what the forefathers of our country had in mind in most things. It's what this nation was fucking founded on! By being pro CHOICE, I am not compelling YOU to do one thing or another, I'm standing up for YOUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE!

 Assholes.

 I'm so fucking exhausted with having to explain this shit, I really am. My belief that a person has a RIGHT to choose does not have any affect whatsoever on your CHOICE. That's for you to decide. Personally, I find it offensive that people find my support of their right to have options presented to them, rather than be compelled one way or another, offensive. What the fervent, flying fuck do you not understand?

 Now... let me take a breath and try to handle this with ever so slightly more decorum:

 No, I am not a woman, but I do support the idea that you ought to have the right to decide what to do with your body. ESPECIALLY if you weren't given the option to intentionally place it into a state of gestation.

 No, I have never given birth, but I do believe that as a citizen of the United States of America, you are granted certain unalienable rights. Among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If bearing children impedes your right to life, you should have the option to make a decision about that. If it strips your right to liberty (I.E. You weren't consulted on the idea of becoming pregnant), you should be allowed options. If it halts you in your pursuit of happiness (for instance, the child will most likely be stillborn, or is the product of rape, or is likely to kill you in the process of becoming full term), you ought to be granted alternatives. Notice how in NONE of those arguments did I say "You ought to scrape it out." Again, I'm not insisting that you believe as I do, I'm staunchly defending your right to believe what you wish!

 No, I've never been pregnant, but I'm not forcing my beliefs onto you and insisting that you do it my way because if you don't the invisible man in the sky will get you.

 Here's the thing: it seems to me that a vast majority of pro-lifers (the ones killing all the abortion doctors) are ultra-conservative, right wing, republican, super-rich psycho-Christians. That's fine. I wholeheartedly support their right to choose that option. While I don't agree with it, one of the fundamental things that I believe in my core is that in this country, we all have the right to follow our own pathos and ideologies. (Yes, I used the word "pathos" intentionally).

 What I'm having trouble understanding is this: These are the same people that want to shirk their civic duties and responsibilities to the progress of the nation as a whole. They want their money to be their money, and no one else's. They don't want to pay taxes, they don't want government, and they don't want you to disagree with them. These are the anti-welfare, anti-unemployment, anti-healthcare reform, anti-poor-people people. If people don't have the option, the CHOICE, or the education necessary to make the right decisions for their lives, or correct mistakes made by themselves, or mistakes made by other people but forced onto them, they will encumber society. Don't you get it? YOU'RE SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE WALLET!

 Planned Parenthood isn't about "killing babies." For starters, in cases of abortion, the cells removed are not yet proven to be viable. More importantly, however, (as the title of the establishment would suggest) it's about "planned" parenthood. It's about education, so that young people can make better decisions. So, stop railing against them because you seem to think all they do is scrape out unwanted babies.

 As far as all you people who insist that any collection of cells that is capable of holding and maintaining life should be protected, don't be so fucking sanctimonious. A tumor is a collection of living cells. A parasite is a collection of living cells. That lemongrass smoothie you got from Hoity-Toity's House of Douchebaggery before going to the office to rape consumers out of their hard earned cash was a collection of living cells. Yogurt? Living cells. Cheese? Living cells. Salad? Living fucking cells.

 Oh, and before you chime in with the standard-issue question that's supposed to make me change my mind, ("What if your mom chose to abort you?") she wouldn't have. I was conceived (albeit, to the chagrin of many) on purpose. That is a bullshit argument built on a horse shit foundation, because guess what? When I was born, my mother did, in fact, have a choice. She chose to afflict the world with me anyway.

[CENSORED]

DON'T JUST DO SOMETHING! STAND THERE!

 Ooooooh, boy. After a fair bit of first-hand research, I've become quite disappointed in the Occupy Philly movement. Why? It doesn't seem like these people are giving it their all. For starters, it's supposed to be a peaceful protest, not a peaceful acquiescence. I watched a video on the Occupy Philly homepage. You know what it was? An hour and a half of drum circles, quite a few zoom ins on bouncing boobies, and trite "mic checks" Honestly, it's devolved into a clusterfuck of people who initially had amazing ideas, with a great deal of merit, but have devolved into blustery, loudmouthed radicals with little to no follow through. It saddens and angers me.

 You can not be taken seriously if you do not ACT seriously! Please, make no mistake about it, I stand devoutly with the 99%. I AM the 99%. Unfortunately, it seems that 99% of the 99% have lost the vim, vigor, and will to keep fighting the good fight. THIS IS NOT A PARTY, DAMN IT! People are going hungry, cold and tired in the streets, trying to call attention to a great social injustice. This is not burning man. This is not woodstock 3.0. This is not supposed to be a safe haven for hipsters, quasi-hippies, "train kids," attention whores who think communism is cool, people who want a soapbox to tout the benefits of the socialist party, or Ron Paul!

 What first got me started on looking askance at the movement here in Philly was the relatively innocuous mass exodus of the movement. No more tent city (now, THAT was something truly to behold)! No more walking through Dilworth Plaza taking a secret solace in the pensive looks on the faces of the police there. No more amusing my wife by mocking the bright pink armbands of the special security force (who walked around looking like gay Nazis). I'm left with an empty spot that needs filling. I walk under Bill Penn now missing... longing for something.

 I remember a little snippet written a very long time ago, that still holds a special place in my heart today. I know I keep going back to it, but damn it, people keep forgetting about it. It's called the first amendment. Have you heard about it?
It says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
free exercise thereof; or abridging the
freedom of speech, or of the press; or the
right of the people peaceably to assemble,
and to petition the government for a redress
of grievances.

It DOESN'T say:

Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
free exercise thereof (though we will repeatedly
and continuously try to ram Christianity down
your throat with one hand while excising it
from the public sector with the other); or
abridging the Freedom of speech (except when
in the best interest of capital gains), or of the
press (provided it's convenient, and doesn't
undermine the system); or the right of the people
peaceably to assemble (between the hours of 9am
and 5pm, as long as it doesn't impede consumerism),
and to petition the government for a redress of
grievances (assuming those grievances are in line with
the grievances of whomever has the most money).

Stand for something, or fall for anything.

Not-so-righteous Indignity.

Ladies and gentlemen (and I use the phrase quite loosely) of the Senate: You're fucking fired. No, seriously, that's it, hand in your cards. You're done. Enough is enough. The National Defense Authorization Act is an abomination, and you know it. First the damned patriot act, and now this? This is America, for fuck's sake! Remember America? Land of the free, home of the brave, et cetera? This convoluted compilation of coprophagia doesn't just tread on, it outright slaps the 4th, 5th, 6th, 8th, 9th, and 14th amendments in the nutsack. This is not the United States I recall being taught about in school. Then again, since I've been out of school, many people have tried (some rather successfully) to rape our constitution. Remember the constitution? The very document that allows you paint chip eating, knuckle dragging buffoons to keep your outrageous salaries while not doing your job? 


The state of the union is fucking abysmal right now, and we've no one to blame but ourselves. To all of you threatening to move to Canada: Go ahead. You do that. Move up to Canada, and let this country continue its downward spiral, because that solves everything, doesn't it (note sarcasm)? What do you think will happen next? That's right, WE'LL FUCKING INVADE CANADA! They're close enough, and don't protect their borders all that well anyway, eh? Don't you think it's the next logical step? 


How about this for an idea: FIGHT BACK! God damn it, people, this is YOUR country. YOUR homeland! It is a land with a "government of the people, by the people, for the people, [that] shall not perish from the earth." Assholes! We seem to be approaching a time when the Gettysburg Address will once again become relevant. Ever read it? I mean really read it? No? Okay, here's a version updated for today:


"[Eleven score and fifteen] years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are [once again about to be] engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a [re]new[ed] birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."


Notice I didn't have to change a whole hell of a lot for it to remain relevant? 
What does that tell you? 
This war isn't being fought with muskets and cannons, it's being fought with pen and paper.
 I leave you with a great quote: 
"They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."


 ~Ben Franklin


And Think... REALLY think about this: 
The politicians' greatest weapon is your own complacence.
 ~Me, making an observation.

1st Amendment what?

Okay, so I looked it up, just to make sure I wasn't delusional. Turns out, I'm not. The first amendment states:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." 

THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO PEACEABLY ASSEMBLE!
 RIGHT.
 PEOPLE.
PEACEABLY.
 ASSEMBLE.
 It's the FIRST FUCKING AMENDMENT! I see absolutely NOTHING in there about "the right of the people to peaceably Assemble" between the hours of 9am and 5pm a long as it's convenient, innocuous, and doesn't hinder business. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!
The "Occupy" movement (to which, I will henceforth refer as "The Occupation") is a growing movement of people who are completely, entirely, justifiably fed up with a grossly imbalanced system. For what it's worth, I'd recommend occupying despite the plea by City Hall to move. What pleas of ours have they listened to? This whole idea of "Yes, you can protest, just keep it down." defeats the entire purpose. As for the naysayers, and those people griping about our presence (and I say "our" despite the fact that I am not camping out, because I AM the 99%) I'd like to see them survive without mommy or daddy's help. I worked my ass off to go to college, get an education, and I've spent my entire life struggling to get ahead because of an imbalanced and bias political system. I am NOT lazy, I am NOT "whining," I am NOT just sitting around crying that I want a handout, I AM tired of the 1% making their profits off MY blood sweat and tears, whilst keeping their own hands pristine, and I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE!
I passed by City Hall here in Philly two days ago to meet up with my wife after work, and you know what I saw? Hundreds of former occupiers... HUNDREDS, walking shoulder to shoulder down broad st and around City Hall. It was gorgeous. Counter-intuitive to this peaceable assembly, there were DOZENS of cops, in groups of three or four, every. five. feet. Aren't there drug dealers, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, drunk and disorderlies, frat boys on meth, hobos on heroin, unsupervised juveniles, impoverished people carrying concealed weapons, and disturbers of the peace to arrest? I mean, this IS Philly, right?
Yesterday, when I passed below William Penn, I noticed there isn't even a way for regular commuting pedestrians to get through the concourse. They rented a god damned fence to keep people out. Allegedly, there's "imminent construction" about to take place,  but I'll tell you what: This imminent construction is no more convenient than The Occupation.

Personally, I'm glad this generation is finally starting to wake the fuck up and realize they've let the political process go to shit for far too long. Hopefully, it's not too late to fix it.


~So sayeth the Mofo.